Foundations

I was journaling this morning in the book "Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration" by Meera Lee Patel and I found myself thinking of a time when I did something hard that really paid off. 

Anne, Jan, and Jenny on Graduation Day 1993

That hard thing would be going back to college.  Particularly for my graduate degree in Library Science.  My family was able to help me out financially for my undergrad degree, but not for grad school.  At this time I was a single mother of a second grader. We moved to my grad school in mid January 1992 and I was lucky enough that an Aunt (Louise Knapp) was willing to take me and my daughter in while we looked for housing. 

The good grades from my undergraduate degree met with the plan to teach out and close the library school. Which meant I got full funding for tuition/fees.  You are limited to two financial aid disbursements in a calendar year.  By starting in January I was able to go take a summer semester and then a traditional fall and spring semester pairing.  By taking a large load of credits I was able to graduate in the spring.

I was on every financial/food assistance program I was eligible for.  I worked a part time job and I shared an apartment with one of the funniest, kindest, smartest women I've known.  Anne you know who you are.  :)  I have been very lucky to meet and be friends with an amazing circle of kind women.   We tried to take some of the same classes and shared books so we both didn't have to buy them. We ate a lot of beans and for entertainment we rented vhs movies (usually action) and had dinner.

While I was living this, I had the best time. I didn't think it was hard, it was just the way things were.  I worked hard and did what was necessary.  My goal was to be able to put a roof over my daughter's head and food on our table without any other assistance. 

Looking back I can see it was hard and that I/we struggled.  But I also know that this foundation work paid off.  It took time and more work, finding jobs, moving, scraping by. But in not too many years (less than 5) I was able to provide for my family and  now 25 years after graduation I have my financial ducks in somewhat of a row.  There will always be times when they run amok and I don't expect smooth sailing.  But I am oh so grateful to be at this point and understand and appreciate where I came from. 

Arlene and Jenny on our way to Nome, Arlene is the amazing friend I met working on my undergrad degree.

I want to thank that younger me for setting things up for this older me.  I am seriously comforted by, and grateful for the retirement account, health insurance, solid tenured job, colleagues who are smart and funny, a job that I enjoy much of the time, and the financial resources to live well.  I'm not rich, but I sure feel rich in family, friends, and activities. I get to travel, work with students, and work in an atmosphere of ongoing and perpetual learning.   

So what have I learned? That if you lay your foundations you're older self will be oh, so grateful.  With that in mind, I went and did yoga for the first time in months. 

I am concerned for my future self's health.  This concern is not as immediate or omnipresent as putting a roof over a child's head.  However, it is perhaps as important.  I need to lay foundations. RIGHT NOW. I'd like to live to 120 and still be walking and talking and taking care of myself. 

Hey, one has to have a goal, right?

Somehow, I must keep in mind that every thing I do health wise will have an impact on future me.   Maybe by reliving some of what I did to get that degree will help move my health goals forward.

One can only hope.

-- Jenny

Oh, and do the work.

P.S. Life as we all know doesn't play fair, and I know I'm just as eligible for crazy illness as the next woman. If you are one of those women to whom life has dealt a difficult illness, I'm sorry.  You and your efforts are not to blame for what you are dealing with.  I know this.  And would never blame anyone past or or present for where they are now.   For me, this is about seizing the now and wringing from it as much amelioration for my future as possible. 

Iron Cranes

Once upon a time there was a crane.

The crane stood with two of his fellows at a store. They were so lovely but I thought, "I only need one." But no, I sent Shanna back to grab the others while I held our spot in the checkout line.

My aunt, came to visit and she loved them. So months later when next I spotted the very same cranes at the store I bought another pair, thinking I'd give them to her, but no. She didn't visit again till it was too late and I had fallen in love with them as a larger flock.

Months later I found a lonely crane at the store in Utah and he had to come home. Then a year or so later there were two more. The flock was growing, I couldn't help myself. I had 9 of them. Then a strange crane appeared, he was the same size though a different species. He clearly needed a flock.

When there were only three they lived in the living room. Roaming from one area to another. I had a treadmill in the living room for about a year and they liked standing on it. As the flock grew they wandered from upstairs looking out the big windows to downstairs hanging out in the family room. 

This spring I moved them out to the front porch. I thought I had a picture of this activity, but no.

Here they are flocked in the living room waiting to migrate to the basement family room until the holidays are over when they'll come back to look out the front windows once again.
 

2018 Halloween

I apparently like things. I like collecting things, gathering things, organizing and displaying things. In order to keep this impulse in some kind of control I try to weed things out of my life at similar rates as the increase of things. I've also discovered that you can display and collect around holidays. Of course, you also must store such things. I am lucky in that I have ample storage space and if I start to need more, then it's a trigger to weed.

For Halloween I have three collections scattered in my house. The first and oldest is one of pumpkins, the second of stuffed bears in costume, and the third and most recent of crows & ravens. I try to be very picky about what I add.

Front door wreath with crow


You put candy in the mouth of that ceramic pumpkin


Looking towards my front door the inside wreath also has a black bird

Ravens and my enthusiastic Christmas cactus

Shell cabinet with two small onyx ravens in front of the red Chinese pot


Halloween tree

Fireplace mantle with my orb collection now intermixed with ravens and crows





With a few more ravens

Hutch with wreath


Collection of stuffed bears in costume. The one sitting on the chair is in an owl costume/hat.



Part of the pumpkin collection on the buffet


We didn't really get any trick or treaters. Our house is just not in the right neighborhood, but I loved having the autumn in my house.  I packed it all up this past weekend, leaving a wreath on the front door, a vase of autumn foilage and an old fashioned paper turkey out to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Those are easy to pack away on the day after Turkey day.  Besides, I need my buffet and side cabinet for the upcoming feast.  -- Jenny

Mormons and the Social Media Fast

Dear Mormons:

I know you've been asked to take a break from social media by your leaders. I can even understand why it can be a good thing for an individual to do so.  But.  If your primary mode of communication with family and friends is via social media then what you are saying en masse is that you don't care about anyone who isn't a Mormon.

See, if you are a Mormon you get to play join the game of going offline. And probably most of your social contacts are in the church and you get to see them there.  If you are not Mormon then this isn't a superfun game. Maybe the only regular contact is through that random picture on Instagram or the occasional comment on Facebook.  Little bright spots of contact.

Sure you can call, either of you can call, but in today's hectic world we don't.  Sure you can text, but sometimes anxiety or just a dislike of trying to text gets in the way.  We all, intentionally or unintentionally take breaks from social media, that's just part of life.  And your family probably understands.  I do.  But the whole team shutting down (yeah I know it's only being requested for 10 days) FEELS like shunning. 

It says that if you aren't part of the Mormon gang then you don't matter. 

Balanced, use of social media is a good thing. It connects us to our large clans. I do know that it can be addictive and out of control.  This is when it's time to learn moderation. 

I'm really frustrated at this and don't feel that I'm expressing it well.  It's not that an individual is taking a social media break that makes me angry.  It's that a collective of people just turned their backs on everyone who is not part of their 'in group'.   It's very Mean Girls. 

This was not well thought out.  I know friends on social media who are removing Mormon contacts from their circles.  Why?  Because you collectively are shunning us/them. 

So, there you are.  My two cents.
Jenny