Foundations

I was journaling this morning in the book "Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration" by Meera Lee Patel and I found myself thinking of a time when I did something hard that really paid off. 

Anne, Jan, and Jenny on Graduation Day 1993

That hard thing would be going back to college.  Particularly for my graduate degree in Library Science.  My family was able to help me out financially for my undergrad degree, but not for grad school.  At this time I was a single mother of a second grader. We moved to my grad school in mid January 1992 and I was lucky enough that an Aunt (Louise Knapp) was willing to take me and my daughter in while we looked for housing. 

The good grades from my undergraduate degree met with the plan to teach out and close the library school. Which meant I got full funding for tuition/fees.  You are limited to two financial aid disbursements in a calendar year.  By starting in January I was able to go take a summer semester and then a traditional fall and spring semester pairing.  By taking a large load of credits I was able to graduate in the spring.

I was on every financial/food assistance program I was eligible for.  I worked a part time job and I shared an apartment with one of the funniest, kindest, smartest women I've known.  Anne you know who you are.  :)  I have been very lucky to meet and be friends with an amazing circle of kind women.   We tried to take some of the same classes and shared books so we both didn't have to buy them. We ate a lot of beans and for entertainment we rented vhs movies (usually action) and had dinner.

While I was living this, I had the best time. I didn't think it was hard, it was just the way things were.  I worked hard and did what was necessary.  My goal was to be able to put a roof over my daughter's head and food on our table without any other assistance. 

Looking back I can see it was hard and that I/we struggled.  But I also know that this foundation work paid off.  It took time and more work, finding jobs, moving, scraping by. But in not too many years (less than 5) I was able to provide for my family and  now 25 years after graduation I have my financial ducks in somewhat of a row.  There will always be times when they run amok and I don't expect smooth sailing.  But I am oh so grateful to be at this point and understand and appreciate where I came from. 

Arlene and Jenny on our way to Nome, Arlene is the amazing friend I met working on my undergrad degree.

I want to thank that younger me for setting things up for this older me.  I am seriously comforted by, and grateful for the retirement account, health insurance, solid tenured job, colleagues who are smart and funny, a job that I enjoy much of the time, and the financial resources to live well.  I'm not rich, but I sure feel rich in family, friends, and activities. I get to travel, work with students, and work in an atmosphere of ongoing and perpetual learning.   

So what have I learned? That if you lay your foundations you're older self will be oh, so grateful.  With that in mind, I went and did yoga for the first time in months. 

I am concerned for my future self's health.  This concern is not as immediate or omnipresent as putting a roof over a child's head.  However, it is perhaps as important.  I need to lay foundations. RIGHT NOW. I'd like to live to 120 and still be walking and talking and taking care of myself. 

Hey, one has to have a goal, right?

Somehow, I must keep in mind that every thing I do health wise will have an impact on future me.   Maybe by reliving some of what I did to get that degree will help move my health goals forward.

One can only hope.

-- Jenny

Oh, and do the work.

P.S. Life as we all know doesn't play fair, and I know I'm just as eligible for crazy illness as the next woman. If you are one of those women to whom life has dealt a difficult illness, I'm sorry.  You and your efforts are not to blame for what you are dealing with.  I know this.  And would never blame anyone past or or present for where they are now.   For me, this is about seizing the now and wringing from it as much amelioration for my future as possible.